This mistake is at the core of most probate litigation. One adult child (or the spouse of that child) begins to control a parent, encouraging the parent to sign documents or make decisions that are often detrimental to the parent’s other children. Sometimes this influence begins with the purest intent. Sometimes not. The failure of a person to control his or her adult children is deeply troublesome. In one case I litigated this failure resulted in the suicide of an adult child. The 60 year old adult child had insinuated herself deeply into the affairs of her 80 year old mother, until the mother’s finances were being used largely for the daughter’s benefit. Mother’s other two children sued to take control of Mother’s assets. They won. The 60 year old daughter subsequently committed suicide when her access to Mother’s funds were restricted. Mother was alive during this entire tragedy.
The failure of a person to control his or her adult children causes deep heartache, sooner or later. There are numerous solutions to this problem, taking into account all the psychology and nuances of various relationships. These solutions are familiar to estate planning counselors and attorneys like us, who have experienced all these conflicts.
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